I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
