Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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