That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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