He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
