Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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