Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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