I wanna bring you to show and tell
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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