So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
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I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
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This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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