i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
