I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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