Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Randomize
