Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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