3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
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So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
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Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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