omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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