Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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