you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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