I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
