bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
