we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
