so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
