...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
