apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
