I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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