can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I looked at my own cervix.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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