I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
