dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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