just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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