I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
