Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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