Are we in a gay sports bar?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
