I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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