Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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