The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
