Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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