i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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