Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
