My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
