We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
