You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
