so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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