look no pants
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Less talking, more tequila
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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