bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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