so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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