You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
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