I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
