Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
