i need an iv and a liver transplant
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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