I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
