I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
