just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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