I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
