so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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