I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
