Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
