Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize