i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
