The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
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The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
that may or may not have been my penis.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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