CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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