Walk of Shame today included voting.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
