she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize